Speedy Delivery

What a tasty treat!

Business Tip #2

Don't frighten me. This new park slope juice depot actually manages to make me a little bit afraid of one of life's most wholesome treats: juice. Am I supposed to be afraid of the juice? Try to tame it? It's unclear. Reminds me of the time M. Night Shymalan took Mel Gibson, then pretty much the actor equivalent of grape juice, and made Signs. His career never recovered. Can anyone name a movie they liked that Mel Gibson starred in after Signs? Now he's calling his girlfriend up and demanding blow jobs. All that to say, M. Night Shymalan should never have opened a juice store.

Happy Father-in-Law Day

That's right, I'm watching you Gary.

NY Students Struggling to read NY Times

The NY Times reports:

"New York State education officials, admitting that the state’s annual tests were not properly measuring student proficiency, released results Wednesday showing that more than half of New York City students were failing to meet state standards in reading, at a time when Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg boasted that more that more than two-thirds of city’s students were reading at grade level."

Come again? How many students? More that more than two thirds? And was that really just one sentence? If New York State tests are written by the same people writing these articles...I can't really blame the students.

Business Tip #1

Don't sell kids. Even if you can keep the prices this low.

Twins

I recently made a shocking discovery - this cat looks exactly like my girlfriend's sister! Somewhere in the back alleys of a small Peruvian town, Colleen, your doppleganger is eating mice.